This is an interview with Paul, a Funeral Director

Interviewer: Why did you become a Funeral Director - it's not a job many people would want to do?

PAUL: Because I felt I could do the job well and make a difficult time easier for the relatives to cope with.

Interviewer: What is the most important skill in your job?

PAUL: Listening to what the family wants, and carrying out their wishes.

Interviewer: Are all funerals the same?

PAUL: Far from it! Different religious groups have different ways of carrying out their funeral services. The most common services we deal with are Anglican (Church of England) where the service is taken by the local Vicar. There is an order of service which is followed by set prayers, readings and sometimes a eulogy, which is where people talk about the life of the person who has died. A local Vicar can also look after the bereaved family after the funeral.

Interviewer: How do the funerals of other religious groups differ?

PAUL: Baptist Church services are less formal than Church of England, with no set format. Brethren are even more informal, with several people from the church asked to pray. Independent Evangelical Christians also have no formal service to follow, but often have a worship time, with perhaps the person's favourite hymns and choruses. Roman Catholics have a full mass said for the person who has died.

Interviewer: Is what YOU do the same for each funeral?

PAUL: No. We try to understand from the family exactly what is and isn't required for each individual funeral. Sometimes people from religious groups have particular ways of doing things that we abide by. Jewish people have very plain coffins, and no flowers on the coffin. This is to signify that in death all people are the same - there is no distinction between rich and poor. Also, we are not allowed to walk in front of the coffin, so as not to hurry the dead to their grave. We all have to wear skull caps for a Jewish funeral. In some Brethren funerals we have been asked not to bow to the body when we place the coffin at the head of the church, and also not to throw earth onto the coffin if it is a burial.

Interviewer: What if the person was not religious?

PAUL: There is nothing to say that people have to have a religious funeral. They can still use the chapels at the cemetery or crematorium, but with the Funeral Director or another person conducting the ceremony. There are also Humanist funerals which can be arranged, where there is music, poems, stories from the person's life, but no religious element.

Interviewer: What else do you do?

PAUL: Calls can come in day or night - there is someone on duty 24 hours a day. When we are first contacted, we take details of the deceased, and whether death has been certified by a doctor. We try to find out quite early on whether it will be a burial or cremation, as cremations require more paperwork, and this has to be sorted out as soon as possible. We then make arrangements to collect the body, and talk to the family about their requirements for the funeral service. We organise all the paperwork, liaise with hospitals and coroners if necessary, and generally get everything ready from flowers to grave diggers.

Interviewer: What do you have to do for the funeral itself?

PAUL: My job is to make sure that everything is prepared, and that the cars, flowers, Vicar, organist, even hymn sheets are prepared. I have to take care of the family before and after the services. I walk in front of the hearse for a short distance when the procession starts, and stay for the service. In a cremation I make sure the casket is returned to the family and attend the scattering or burial of the ashes if required.

Interviewer: What is the most common question you get asked?

PAUL: In cremations, people want to know how they can be sure that the ashes they receive are actually those of their loved one. I have been to the crematorium and seen how the system operates, so that I can tell them with confidence that the rules and regulations are so strict that no error could possibly be made.

Interviewer: What is the worst thing about your job?

PAUL: Probably when the deceased is a child, or a parent with young children left behind.

Interviewer: What is the best part of your job?

PAUL: When the family thank you sincerely for helping them and for doing exactly what they wanted - then it's worthwhile.